PS4

     So my Fiancee got his Christmas bonus and bought us a PS4.  He got a game called Horizon that looks really cool and I finally was able to get Overwatch.  I can hardly wait to start playing either one of these games.  So this ought to be a lot of fun.

Dyed my hair

     So I decided to dye my hair today.  I have been planning for a while but couldn't find the color I wanted.  I finally found a color that i liked.  It is called rose gold and I absolutely love it.  I think I will continue using this color for a while.

Thinking

     I have just been doing a lot of thinking recently.  Some of them have been doubts most of the time.  I have been thinking about if I finish this story that I am working on will it be good enough to publish or just another story to take up space on a hard drive.  Plus I'm wondering if becoming a posh consultant will be worth it or will I just fail at it.  I have all these ideas for making stuff to make money but was wondering if it would be worth it.  I guess I will never know until I try.

Merry Christmas

     Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.  I got a lot of neat stuff.  I got some pj bottoms and a lot of gift cards and a new ornament for the tree.  I had a great Christmas and can't wait for next year.

doubts

     I'm just having a moment of doubt right now and just wondering if I'm supposed to be where I am at now.  I mean I wanted to be a writer and I never really tried and I am wondering if I had concentrated on that more would I have been an author by now.  I mean I'm still working on a couple stories that I have been working on for a while.  I just hope that when I finish one of the stories that it will be really good that I can start making money doing that.

Christmas soon

     It's hard to believe that Christmas is almost here.  I have hardly gotten my shopping done for everyone. 

What I'm reading

     So I have started reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.  I look forward to how this book is.  So far every other book that I have read has not disappointed.

Sick

     I have been sick the past couple of days but I think yesterday was the worst of it.  i had a fever, chills, and no voice.  I think the worst part was is that when I knew that I had to eat something I didn't really see anything that I really wanted to eat.  Today I am feeling a lot better but the coughing is starting to get annoying but it's better than what I was feeling yesterday.

Sleeping Problem

     I have been having problems sleeping recently and its not that I have problems getting to sleep or staying asleep.  It is that I wake up and can't move.  After doing some research I found out there is something called sleep paralysis.  I have not seen a doctor about it or been diagnosed with it.  This is my own research that I have done.  They first time this happened was when I believe in high school.  I remember it was the weekend and I woke up and I couldn't move.  Not only could I not move, I could hear something growling, and feel something pushing on the mattress from underneath the bed.
     There were a few times it happened since I have moved in with my fiancee.  Other times I have been able to get out of it or my fiancee has been able to get me out of it if I am able to make a noise or something.  Recently I have been having issues snapping out of it.  I am unable to make a noise or anything to alert him to help me.  I am still hearing the growling and have started seeing a shadow figure out of the corner of my eye.  This is really starting to scare me to the point that I don't like going to sleep or I don't sleep for very long if I know that I am going to be the only one in the bed.
    I am hoping that writing this and sharing it will help me not be scared to go to sleep.  I also hope that this helps anyone else having this problem know that they are not the only one having this.  Plus I think I'm scared to tell a doctor what is going on and have them think I am going crazy.  I hope someone will see this and comment/message me and tell what I should do.

Stressing out

     I'm stressing out because I start my first day on day shift and learn fire radio.  I'm starting to wonder if it was a good idea to learn another radio.  Fire is turning out to be harder than I thought it would be.  I'm starting to think that maybe I should just give up for the time being and wait until I'm absolutely sure and comfortable learning a new radio at work.  I pretty much waited a couple months after learning my first radio and then said I wanted to learn another one.  I think I might have rushed myself and might have burned myself out on the learning thing.  I don't know what to do.  I just don't want it to be that I end up failing because of rushing to learn it.

Back To Days

     I am trying to get my body used to going back to days.  I was sick yesterday so I pretty much slept all day and all night.  I'm still a little sick but I'm getting better and now feeling that I can have somewhat of a social life again.  

Bitstrips

    I was just thinking about some apps that I loved that were just stopped updating or taken down.  One of my most favorite apps was bitstrips.  I loved making the comic strips with an avatar that was me in it.  I was upset when I couldn't use the app anymore.  I hope that snapchat that bought it does something to make it come back again soon.

Last weekend of night shift

     This weekend is the last weekend of night shift for this rotation for me.  At my job we rotate from days to nights every 8 weeks and this is the last 3 days of nights.  I really like night shift but I know that it has to come to an end until 8 weeks from now at least.

Birthday Dinner

     Today was a good day for me.  I did some stuff around the house and then took my fiancee out to dinner for his birthday.  We both had a lot of fun and got to spend some time together.  

Rough Holiday Season this year

     I am having a hard time getting through this holiday season this year.  My grandmother died a couple months ago and we would normally go to her house to celebrate Christmas.  I am having a hard time believing that there will be no Christmas at Grandma's house this year.  I think I might be going into a little bit of a depression and  I hope I can get out of it.

Orlando Renaissance Festival

     Yesterday my fiancee and I went to the Orlando Renaissance Festival.  It was smaller than the Tampa Bay Area Renaissance Festival but it was still a lot of fun.  We met up with a couple friends and walked around to the different booths.  We also watched some of the shows.  I want to go back again next year.