PS4

     So my Fiancee got his Christmas bonus and bought us a PS4.  He got a game called Horizon that looks really cool and I finally was able to get Overwatch.  I can hardly wait to start playing either one of these games.  So this ought to be a lot of fun.

Dyed my hair

     So I decided to dye my hair today.  I have been planning for a while but couldn't find the color I wanted.  I finally found a color that i liked.  It is called rose gold and I absolutely love it.  I think I will continue using this color for a while.

Thinking

     I have just been doing a lot of thinking recently.  Some of them have been doubts most of the time.  I have been thinking about if I finish this story that I am working on will it be good enough to publish or just another story to take up space on a hard drive.  Plus I'm wondering if becoming a posh consultant will be worth it or will I just fail at it.  I have all these ideas for making stuff to make money but was wondering if it would be worth it.  I guess I will never know until I try.

Merry Christmas

     Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.  I got a lot of neat stuff.  I got some pj bottoms and a lot of gift cards and a new ornament for the tree.  I had a great Christmas and can't wait for next year.

doubts

     I'm just having a moment of doubt right now and just wondering if I'm supposed to be where I am at now.  I mean I wanted to be a writer and I never really tried and I am wondering if I had concentrated on that more would I have been an author by now.  I mean I'm still working on a couple stories that I have been working on for a while.  I just hope that when I finish one of the stories that it will be really good that I can start making money doing that.

Christmas soon

     It's hard to believe that Christmas is almost here.  I have hardly gotten my shopping done for everyone. 

What I'm reading

     So I have started reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.  I look forward to how this book is.  So far every other book that I have read has not disappointed.

Sick

     I have been sick the past couple of days but I think yesterday was the worst of it.  i had a fever, chills, and no voice.  I think the worst part was is that when I knew that I had to eat something I didn't really see anything that I really wanted to eat.  Today I am feeling a lot better but the coughing is starting to get annoying but it's better than what I was feeling yesterday.

Sleeping Problem

     I have been having problems sleeping recently and its not that I have problems getting to sleep or staying asleep.  It is that I wake up and can't move.  After doing some research I found out there is something called sleep paralysis.  I have not seen a doctor about it or been diagnosed with it.  This is my own research that I have done.  They first time this happened was when I believe in high school.  I remember it was the weekend and I woke up and I couldn't move.  Not only could I not move, I could hear something growling, and feel something pushing on the mattress from underneath the bed.
     There were a few times it happened since I have moved in with my fiancee.  Other times I have been able to get out of it or my fiancee has been able to get me out of it if I am able to make a noise or something.  Recently I have been having issues snapping out of it.  I am unable to make a noise or anything to alert him to help me.  I am still hearing the growling and have started seeing a shadow figure out of the corner of my eye.  This is really starting to scare me to the point that I don't like going to sleep or I don't sleep for very long if I know that I am going to be the only one in the bed.
    I am hoping that writing this and sharing it will help me not be scared to go to sleep.  I also hope that this helps anyone else having this problem know that they are not the only one having this.  Plus I think I'm scared to tell a doctor what is going on and have them think I am going crazy.  I hope someone will see this and comment/message me and tell what I should do.

Stressing out

     I'm stressing out because I start my first day on day shift and learn fire radio.  I'm starting to wonder if it was a good idea to learn another radio.  Fire is turning out to be harder than I thought it would be.  I'm starting to think that maybe I should just give up for the time being and wait until I'm absolutely sure and comfortable learning a new radio at work.  I pretty much waited a couple months after learning my first radio and then said I wanted to learn another one.  I think I might have rushed myself and might have burned myself out on the learning thing.  I don't know what to do.  I just don't want it to be that I end up failing because of rushing to learn it.

Back To Days

     I am trying to get my body used to going back to days.  I was sick yesterday so I pretty much slept all day and all night.  I'm still a little sick but I'm getting better and now feeling that I can have somewhat of a social life again.  

Bitstrips

    I was just thinking about some apps that I loved that were just stopped updating or taken down.  One of my most favorite apps was bitstrips.  I loved making the comic strips with an avatar that was me in it.  I was upset when I couldn't use the app anymore.  I hope that snapchat that bought it does something to make it come back again soon.

Last weekend of night shift

     This weekend is the last weekend of night shift for this rotation for me.  At my job we rotate from days to nights every 8 weeks and this is the last 3 days of nights.  I really like night shift but I know that it has to come to an end until 8 weeks from now at least.

Birthday Dinner

     Today was a good day for me.  I did some stuff around the house and then took my fiancee out to dinner for his birthday.  We both had a lot of fun and got to spend some time together.  

Rough Holiday Season this year

     I am having a hard time getting through this holiday season this year.  My grandmother died a couple months ago and we would normally go to her house to celebrate Christmas.  I am having a hard time believing that there will be no Christmas at Grandma's house this year.  I think I might be going into a little bit of a depression and  I hope I can get out of it.

Orlando Renaissance Festival

     Yesterday my fiancee and I went to the Orlando Renaissance Festival.  It was smaller than the Tampa Bay Area Renaissance Festival but it was still a lot of fun.  We met up with a couple friends and walked around to the different booths.  We also watched some of the shows.  I want to go back again next year.

Going Healthy

     So I have decided to eat healthier and exercise more.  I am not happy with the weight I've gained.  My fiancee feels the same about his weight too.  We are going to start going to a gym and eat healthier. 

My training on Fire

    So I have recently started training on the fire radio at my job.  I have been training for one week and realized that there is a lot of stuff to remember.  I am already trained on a Teletype radio and that was pretty easy.  I have realized Fire is completely different but I believe that I can do it and I have a very good trainer.

Happy Thanksgiving

    Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving.  This year is a little rough for me because my grandmother will not be celebrating with us this year.  She passed away a couple months ago and the holidays this year just don't seem as joyful as they normally are.  My fiancee has been trying his best and both our families are trying to cheer me up but it is still hard.

Training

     So I started training on a new radio this week for work.  I am learning the fire dispatch radio.  So far training is going good.  I hope that I do a really good job and can get thru training with no problems.

My larping weekend

     So over the weekend I was in Atlanta for the final Larping event of this season.  I love going to these events and had a lot of fun.  I look forward to going again next year.

The Alienist TV show

     So I just recently found out that TNT is making a tv show called The Alienist based off the book by Caleb Carr.  I really like the book and am really looking forward to watching the show.   I hope that they follow as closely to the book as they can. 

New story

     I have now gotten ideas for a new story and have started working on it.  I can hardly wait to see how this story flows.

Family dinner

    Had a great dinner with my family tonight.  We went to a restaurant called Harold Seltzers.  There was a big group of us that was my mother, twin sister, brother and his family, my fiancee, my 2 uncles, and my aunt.  It was really good and it was in memory of my grandmother that had recently passed.  It was a fun night and I look forward to doing another one again soon.

Truck Drama

     So I was going to go help my mom move a mattress from my grandmothers house to my mom's house.  As I was leaving I see a puddle on the driveway.  Turns out my truck is leaking power steering fluid and I had to call my mom and tell her I wasn't going to be able to make it.  So now my day is looking up somewhere to get it fixed.

consultant

     So I have been looking into not only being a perfectly posh consultant.  I have decided to be a Jafra consultant as well to make some extra money.  So I will be making reviews on their products as well.  I just have to save up enough money to get the kit that I want.

Happy Halloween

    Just wishing everyone a Happy Halloween.  I got a few trick or treaters but not a whole lot.  I hope everyone had a great and safe Halloween.

BzzAgent unboxing

Youtube Channel

    So I have decided to make a Youtube Channel to do reviews and vlog on.  I wanted to try something new and my brother has a channel that he has had for a couple years and he seems to like it.  Because of that I thought that I would give it a try and see how it goes.  I will be doing product and possibly book reviews on it but I think I will also do vlogging as well of just random stuff I feel like vlogging about.  I will still post on my blogs but I will also post the links to my channel in them for anyone interested.

Night Shift

     I start my first night of night shift tonight.  I'm excited but know that the first couple of days are going to be rough.  Bring on the coffee.

Switching to Night Shift

     So starting tomorrow I will be working night shift at my work.  I love night shift but the only issue is that for the next 2 months I will have pretty much no social life.  But the good thing is that I will be getting a lot of my writing done that I have been meaning to do.  So I will probably be posting a lot more than I have been.

larping/Yennefer outfit part 2

     So I have come to a little issue with my outfit.  I am having a time finding the right corset for it.  I know and under bust one will work but I wish I could find one that looked like and under bust but not as big.  There is one that is called a waist trimmer or something corset that is the size I am looking for but I just have to find the style that I want.  So the hunt continues.

My larping/Yennefer outfit

     So my fiancee and I went to Goodwill yesterday just to walk around and see what stuff they had.  While there we found a pair of fake leather pants and a black shirt that when put together not only do they look like a cool larping outfit; they also sort of look like a cross between 2 of the outfits that Yennefer wears in the Witcher 3 game.  I still have to get a few more pieces to finish it, but I look forward finally getting it done.  This only shows that you can find a lot of cool stuff going to thrift stores, salvation army stores, and Goodwill stores. 

Blow out

     So yesterday (10/07/2017) my fiancee and I were on our way to the Sheriff's Office National Night Out event.   We got everything unloaded from his car and my truck and decided to got get something to eat before the event began.  So while on the way back we hear a loud bang noise and pull into a Walmart Neighborhood Market gas station and see what it was.  Turns out that the front driver's side tire blew out.  Well, we thought no biggie we'll just put the spare tire on.  So we go to get the spare and come to find out that the car did not come with a spare tire.  It only came with an fix a flat kit and a small air compressor.  Obviously that is not going to help us.  So I call AAA and put in a service order for a tow truck.  I ended up staying with the car so my fiancee could go to event (thank god his father came and took him). 
     So while I'm waiting for the tow truck the heavens open up and all I can think of is I hope everything is okay at the event.  My fiancee comes back and says it started thundering and lightening at the event so he decided to leave and come wait for the tow truck with me.  We ended up waiting 3 hours for a tow truck but we got the car home.  So for now we are down to one car again and now have to figure out car pooling.  So everyone knows; if you get a 2015 Hyundai Veloseter it does not come with a spare tire only a fix a flat kit.

My greatest fear is my secret thrill

     I like most people have a huge fear of spiders.  I don't like that they walk around on 8 legs and can climb walls.  I don't like the eyes and the webs that they make most of the time.  If I find one in any of the rooms of my house I have to have my fiancee to go kill it. 
     But I also get a secret thrill from them too.  I can look at a picture and get a sort of adrenaline rush from it spiked by my fear.  Watching horror movies with killer or mutant spiders are my all time secret thrill of these creatures.  Something about a monster that is made from something I already fear makes it worth while for me.
     This thing I get most is that that chill that goes down my spine when i am watching movies and event documentaries with this pest in it.  I don't understand why I have this thrill but I guess it might be a way for me to try to get over this fear.  But I also feel that if I didn't have this fear then I wouldn't be in love with the movies that I like that uses this creature as the bad thing in the movie. 
     So I guess I just want to know if anyone else out there has this secret thrill like I do.

My new outfit

    I went with my finacee to a mall in Jacksonville.  We went to a store called Subculture Corsets and the store is amazing.  They not only sell corsets but other clothing as well.  I got a whole Steam Punk inspired outfit.  I can hardly wait for a time to wear it.  If you are interested in looking into this store here is the link https://subculturecorsets.com/ .  They are always getting new stuff all the time.

List of Goals I want to do or try

I have a few things that I have been thinking about doing or at least giving it a try and thought I would share.

1. Trying bullet journaling.
2. Try my hand at making beard oil for my Fiancee.
3. Try my hand at making soap and other bathroom products.
4. Become a Perfectly Posh Consultant (when I save up enough money).
5. Write a story to be published.

Hurricane Irma 2017

     I have survived Hurricane Irma.  I got called into work and ended up staying the night on Sunday so that if they needed extra dispatchers I was there to help.  It was scary but we tried to make the best of it.  I hope a lot of my fellow Floridians weathered the storm as well as I did.  I still have my home and family so I am thankful for everything that I have.

Podcast

So I have been thinking for awhile about doing a podcast channel.  I don't really know what I'm going to do it about.  I think I will just do it on geeky stuff I do and then go from there.  Maybe do some of my book reviews on it and maybe movie and app reviews.  Just have to wait and see what happens.

Problem

I've been having writers block the past couple of months and have no idea what to do.