Trying to get out of this mind set

     So for the past couple of days I have been feeling down.  I have actually broken down crying a couple of times.  I don't know if I'm going through a depression because it is coming up on the one year anniversary of my grandmother's passing or not.  I mean I really miss her and wish that she was still here.  I wish that she was here to see me get married next year.  But I also have been hard on myself as well.  If I made the right choice in my career, if I will ever get my posh business off the ground, and will I ever get anything that I write published.  I just hope that I can get out of this and be my cheerful self once again.

up all night

     The one draw back from working night shift is that even on your days off.  You are up all night and what sucks is that nothing is open so I'm bored at home with nothing to do.

somewhat new computer

    My fiancee's dad rebuild a somewhat newer mac and gave it to me since my other one was running slow and I couldn't live stream from it anymore.  I have to say that this one runs way faster and I don't have to have it IV'd to the charger all the time.

bbq

     Yesterday was a great day for me.  My fiancee barbequed on the grill and we had a bunch of friends over.  My fiancee made ribs, pulled pork, and brats.  We also had potato salad and a variety of drinks.  It was all really good and I look forward to doing it again.

Ideas

     I have been having a problem with getting ideas for my blog here and for my youtube channel.  I think I am having a moment of self doubt because I don't know why I'm doing this.  Then I realize that it's because I want people to see my writings and to get feed back on what I need to improve on.  i want to be able to write my first novel and have it published not to make money off it but to have people experience my writing and my writing style. I hope that someone enjoys what I write and gives me the encouragement to continue.

Mochi Ice cream

    So I just discovered that my local Aldi grocery store sells mochi ice cream.  I had never had mochi ice cream before and was really excited to try it.  I got the green tea flavored one and it is amazing.  I can hardly wait to try the other flavors.

First Week on nights

     I survived my first week of night shift.  It was rough but I made it.